Dudes with dude etiquette - Wait timing

The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes. For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

Some women will push the very limits of their hotness. It is very important to not rush them until their time is up. Of course certain situations may necessitate a bit less waiting. I.E. Building burning down, under enemy fire, and of course leaving the scene of a crime.
        Men the rule is not subjective. Unless you are a Marine, you do leave a man behind.

Dudes with Dudes Etiquette - Neutral zone infraction

When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

This will avoid many awkward conversations in the coming months as football season is rapidly approaching. If you are ever asked by another man who is playing appropriate answers include but are not limited to:
"What do you mean who's playing?"
"Your sister, and she`s down by two."
"Did you have a stroke?"
"This is animal planet, we`re all playing and apparently humans are winning. Dodo's are out and polar bears are not looking good."

Dudes with Dudes Etiquette - Birthday requirements

No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man (in fact, even remembering a dude's birthday is strictly optional).

While I enjoy birthdays and birthday parties especially there is no reason for a man to spend time or effort for another mans birthday. This is even more important for the man with the birthday to remember as some may become agitated that nobody cared that they just turned another year closer to death. Now men should never forget a birthday of a woman they are dating or married to, but they must always round down the number of years above 18.

Chapter 2 - Dudes With Dudes Etiquette - The equal footing rule

Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, both washing hands, etc. For all other situations, an almost un-noticeable nod is all the conversation you need.

Every man has encountered the rule breaker, or maybe has been the rule breaker in the past. That awkward guy who won`t stop talking while you are obviously preoccupied.Conversations should be started and stopped once equal footing has been established or lost, and can be continued once equal footing has been re-established.
This will help eliminate those awkward moments for the betterment of humanity.

The Mans Book of Unwritten Rules

       

            So this is a project I started I don`t know how long ago. At least a decade, probably more. It is the collection of knowledge that I picked up as a young man going through adolescence as well as advice I was given or found and has held true. This is:

THE MAN'S BOOK OF UNWRITTEN RULES 

(Abridged)

        Throughout the weeks and months I shall be presenting the rules, one at a time, with some explanation, personal experience or commentary. These were created for the 13 year old version of myself so that should I ever own a DeLorean and some Plutonium (or a spare lightning bolt) I can pass the things that I wish I had known at that time to myself. 

Women Read This: Know now that these are not written by women, or for women. Your commentary is unavoidable but know that it cannot change these rules. There will also never be a woman's book of unwritten rules as there is no way to broadly categorize any rules for women to agree upon. You are welcome to take up the challenge, I`ve heard clean fusion power is a better hobby.

One day I hope to create a mini-bible sort of book that all of these will be printed into and upon beginning man-hood a boy is present with it. I shall begin on Chapter 2 -Dudes with Dudes etiquette. Why start with Chapter 2? Because I damn well please. Also, least likely chapter to get myself lynched.